Thursday, 8 September 2011

Let the madness commence.

So. It's been sometime since I possessed one of these puppies. A blog, I mean. I kept one or two in university because it was apparently what all the cool kids were doing, and frankly I liked it as a means of sharing random cool stuff I found on the internet with my friends. Then Facebook came along and said 'here, let us do that for you instead!'

Anyway, two things happened recently that have prompted me to start one of these up yet again.

First, a friend of mine, a fellow lover of words, suggested putting together a writing group. We could write anything we want, a short story, a blog, a sarcastic grocery list, whatever, just as long as we made sure to write something new every week. I think my response was something along the lines of 'hell yes, that is a fscking brilliant idea!'

Second, I've been trying for about a year now to get a job teaching English overseas, and I thought perhaps, should I be successful in this endeavour, I should write about it. A completely original idea, I know. As is my hope of landing a book deal, I'm sure.

I've been pretty much up to my neck in interviews for the past few weeks, and remembering my friend's idea, I thought I would get started. Plus I was going a bit nuts and needed to unwind. Below is what I've been penning. With my keyboard. Someday someone is going to look at a pen and ask what it is, and I might cry a little. I'm not always this boring.

August 25, 2011, 11:09PM, Korean time: 13 hours in the future.

It would appear that the first rule of attempting to secure overseas employment entails never leaving your home in the evening. Further, it would appear that a nightcap lacks wisdom as well.

On this fine night, after a short shift at my current place of employment—herein called The House of Books*—I returned home, feeling rather tired, given the borderline craziness of my week. Having procured a bottle of Coca Cola—truly a fine beverage, unmatched in its syrupy, caffeinated essence, although I admit Pepsi is also excellent—I opted to add a wee (see: epic) dash of rum to it, thinking it would be a fine way to unwind, and perhaps obtain a good night’s rest… and the phone rang.

As my luck is of the awesome sort, the person calling was someone wishing to interview me for potential teaching positions in Korea. Supposedly they had attempted to reach me a few nights ago, but as I was not expecting a call, I was not here. Rather, I may have simply been out on the front porch with a friend of mine who was visiting, enjoying the cool August night, listening to the crickets, watching the Toronto Blue Jays game on his iPhone (they lost 6-3 to Kansas, bah!)… Anyway, I contacted the school after learning I had missed their call, and informed them I would be available the next night (yesterday) and kept a vigil of sorts by the phone, which then had the decency to be silent all damn night.

We return to tonight. Given how tired I was before said magical beverage, the effects of the few sips I’d had were akin to running into a wall. Couple this with mild deafness, brought to you by my new pal, Random Summer Cold, and the sound of my brain laughing its ass off at me for this predicament, I am frankly amazed that I made it through the call intact.

Thank Santa it wasn’t a video call.

…That’s for another night. Lord help me.

*not the store's actual name.

August 26, 2011, 9:11PM, Korean time: Saturday morning.

It is entirely possible that I might die of tired and stress from all this delightfulness.

One of the schools whose attention I have managed to capture has asked that I write a short essay as part of the application process (I almost wrote paplication… let us move on from that image, shall we?), and so I have been trying to come up with valid points to make, wondering if the internet will be a valid enough source to cite from (if in fact they want citations), and I have around one day in which to write it since they would ideally like it before my skype interview on Sunday night. It is Friday.

I am exhausted largely due to last night’s unexpected call from Korea, which I was already tired prior to, and bordering on tipsy (see previous entry), and then afterwards I was entirely too awake to get to sleep as planned, and so at two o’clock in the morning, Eastern Standard Time, which is the time we have always used in my beloved Ontario (to my knowledge anyway), I think unconsciousness finally claimed me. However, I had to open the bookstore today. Very very glad I had the foresight to purchase that extra bottle of coke when I bought gas earlier. Needed it. Also, AwesomeBoss, Travis, was greatly amused by the tales of my escapades last night. I am 100% sure he thinks I am a raging alcoholic, but he seems to approve wholeheartedly.


Phone seems to be blessedly silent. Watching The Avengers (the 1961 tv series, not the hotly anticipated Marvel Comics film) with friend Ian and thinking I might actually sleep soundly tonight. I do approve of that possibility. Immensely.

August 30, 2011, 11:01 PM, EST, KST – lunch o’clock

It is surprisingly difficult to stare into a camera and talk about myself. I need to think more like Gaston.

September 1, 2011, Korea time: The FUTURE.

On a note completely unrelated to Korea, today one of our regular customers and I got into a discussion about cannibalism. Two things about this conversation were hilarious. One: This is about par for the course for me and this guy, and two: We couldn’t decide if people meat would be rich in protein, like chicken, or in iron, like beef.

Your thoughts?

September 7, 2011

Holy shit, I'm moving to Korea in a month.

...Word of warning? This is what I'm always like. I would also like to mention that I now own an e-reader and Hell now has an ideal climate for starting a hockey team. I do hope they know that New Jersey already has a lock on the Devils for a name.

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